what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
