When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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