zippers are such a cool invention
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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