just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm so fucking centered right now
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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