loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
