oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize