Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
