Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
