and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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