Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
