this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Houston, we have a squirter
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
