Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize