it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
