Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
