we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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