you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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