It was confusing and full of hummus
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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