it was like eating out sand paper
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Two words: blizzard sex
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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