Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
