i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
