yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
