I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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