found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know