There was a lot of him and a little penis
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.