Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
