I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
