i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize