you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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