I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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