she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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