where am i from again
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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