Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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