Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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