maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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