im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
