I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
