you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
