Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
