Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize