Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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