my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
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