put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
