pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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