Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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