and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
