No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.