just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
