he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just blew my weed a kiss
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
