Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize