I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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