i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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