you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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