After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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