Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
