What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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