Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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