I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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