Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
