I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize