Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize