I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
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And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
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Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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