I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
