I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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