Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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